Seniors Housing & Healthcare Trends

LOS ANGELES: Bill Gates admitted earlier this year that the break-up of his 27-year marriage was the “mistake I most regret”.

His ex-wife Melinda French Gates, on the other hand, has spoken of how “very happy” she is embracing the next chapter of her life post-divorce.

A study by Survation on women and midlife divorce has revealed that the 61-year-old philanthropist is not alone in her new-found happiness. Almost a third of female divorcees report that they feel the same.

It coincides with a trend for “silver splitters” or “grey divorces”, referring to people who divorce later in life. According to the Office for National Statistics, between 2005 and 2015 the number of men divorcing aged 65 and over went up by 23 per cent and the number of women of the same age divorcing increased by 38 per cent.

Along with French Gates who divorced the billionaire Microsoft founder in 2021, other high-profile silver splitters have included Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Scott who divorced after 25 years of marriage in 2019 at the ages of 54 and 48, respectively.

Ronnie Wood was aged 62 when he divorced his wife Jo Wood, 54, in 2009 following 24 years of marriage, after he had an affair with a 20-year-old Russian waitress.

In the report, Beyond the Break: the truth about divorce for midlife women, more than 2000 women aged 45-65, including 220 divorcees, were surveyed. Nearly a third – 31 per cent of the women – who were divorced reported that they were happier than they had ever been.

Also similar to French Gates, almost half – 46 per cent – of the divorcees said they instigated the divorce. In addition, 56 per cent of the total number of women who were surveyed said they would end their marriage if they were unhappy.

The authors of the report interviewed a further 60 women in the same age group as part of a qualitative study.

One of the women interviewed, identified only as Pat, 55, from London, who divorced when she had an extra-marital affair, said she hit “rock bottom” after her husband made her friends “choose sides” when they split. She notes how much her life later improved.

She said: “I want other women to know that my rebirth, my return to my true self post-divorce, has been an amazing experience. I am now so much happier.”

Another divorcee, Jane, 62, from Cheshire, said she was initially “terrified” when she realised she would have to go back to work as part of her financial settlement after 20 years as a stay-at-home mother.

She said: “I was the traditional wife. But now I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have a great career, I am back working as a senior nurse in a local hospital, and I love it.

“I’ve met so many amazing people and have a life I would never have had if he’d stayed. I discovered I am much stronger and more capable than I thought. Really the divorce has been the making of me.”

The report confirms that many of the women who took part in the survey spoke of the “relief and excitement” they felt after divorce.

“Many spoke about finally having a chance to become the women they always wanted to be, setting themselves up ‘for the next half of my life’,” it states. “This sense of moving into a better next chapter was often heady and exciting.”

Jennifer Howze, 56, a journalist and founder of the substack Spotlight on Affected Others, said she had what is termed a “good divorce” in 2019, but still went through a turbulent time. However, after this period her life has taken an upward turn.

She said: “There’s always sadness about what happened, but I’m happy we’ve both come through it. There have definitely been lots of ups and downs which I could have handled better.

“But since then, I’ve had opportunities in work and travel that I couldn’t have imagined. I have time and energy to focus on some personal projects, including a Substack supporting people affected by a loved one’s gambling habit – a topic I’m passionate about.

“I’m so appreciative of the people in my life (that includes my ex). It has taken a while to get here, but six years on, I feel I’ve moved into a positive new phase.”

The study observed that higher life expectancy among women and improvements in health plays a significant factor in older women’s zest for life after they divorce.

It says: “Statistically a woman who is healthy in her 50s is likely to live until she is 97; lifespans have doubled in the last 100 years.

“And this new longevity factor, the lived truth of the ‘100-year life’, means that midlife women do not have to stay stuck and unfulfilled in marriages which are not working for them, where they feel unseen, or, worse, where they are being abused.”

Another area the report explored was the issues that are precipitating midlife divorces. More than a quarter – 27 per cent – of the female divorcees who participated in the survey reported that their marriage broke down due to abuse or domestic violence.

A slightly higher number – 28 per cent – cited a spouse having an affair or wanting to be with someone else as the prime factor in their split, while 23 per cent put their breakups down to growing apart or falling out of love.

Elsewhere, the report concluded that older women were often unprepared for the financial challenges they encountered during the divorce process.

Only 29 per cent of those surveyed said they understood their financial situation before the divorce and 65 per cent of the divorced women reported concerns about their financial wellbeing.

The survey was conducted by Survation in September this year and the full report was compiled by Noon – an online media platform and community for midlife women – on behalf of law firm Mishcon de Reya and wealth management company Julius Baer International.

Sandra Davis, a partner in the family law team at Mishcon de Reya, said: “This important research has found that in 2025, women in midlife, who are likely to live into their late 80s and 90s, are taking control of the rest of their lives.

“This means that if a marriage is no longer serving them, is abusive or just not where they want to be for their next 40 or 50 years, midlife women are voting with their feet.

“There is no longer a stigma around divorce for these women, or any sense that divorcing is a failure.”